


Living for the Past

by bboiseux



Series: Critical Role Relationship Week 2018 [6]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: CritRole RSWeek 2018, Gen, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, arcane research, but mostly a conversation that has no impact on anyone, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 23:13:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15011492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bboiseux/pseuds/bboiseux
Summary: In his search to undo the mistakes of the past, Caleb has wandered into a garish magic shop in Emon . . . and possibly stumbled across the answer to his questions.  The proprietor of that shop may make it harder for Caleb to keep those answers.  Caleb and Gilmore talk.  Caleb doesn't listen.For Relationship Week 2018Reading Time:abt 9 mins.





	Living for the Past

Caleb had gotten used to the musty smell of magic shops in his travels.  The smell of old books, chemicals, and a general lack of regard for personal hygiene.  There was something about wizards that made them unconcerned with the order and cleanliness of the world around them.  So, when Caleb, dusting the dirt of the road off his crusty jacket, opened the door to Gilmore’s Glorious Goods, he was shocked by the appearance and aroma of the shop.  It was a wall of sweet perfumes and exotic spices.  The shelves and walls were beautiful marbled cherry wood and rich cloth and tapestries hung from the ceiling.  Everything about the shop shouted “care and attention to detail” in a worldly way that Caleb could not quite comprehend.

“This is really fancy,” whispered Nott.

As the bell above the door finished jangling, a shop attendant in a well-tailored robe hurried towards Caleb.  He could feel the eyes judging their appearance.  “Good morning, sir.”  His eyes glanced down at Nott and then back up. “What can I help you with today?”

“Ah, well, I’m looking for some books.  Books on arcane history and research.”

The man nodded along.  “We do have some select books in our collections, although we primarily focus on enchanted items and related supplies.”

Caleb’s voice was delicate as he spoke again.  “Ah, yes, I do also need a few supplies.”  He began counting off on his fingers.  “Paper and ink for spell transcription.  I am also looking for some incense for spell purposes.  Is it possible that you have these items?”

“Yes, yes.  We certainly have those.  If you’ll step over to that counter—“ He gestured towards a counter across the store. “—I’m sure my manager would be happy to help you procure the appropriate books while I gather these supplies.  How much of each do you need?”

Caleb told him and walked firmly towards the counter.  A half-elven women with dull brown hair pulled back into a bun, eyes framed by large glasses, looked up as he approached.  He saw the same judgmental flick of the eyes up his body, but she merely gave an almost imperceptible shrug and closed the ledger she was reviewing.

“Good afternoon, sir.  How can I help you?”

“Ah, your, uh, clerk said that I should talk to you about books on arcane research and history.”  Caleb began listing off copious details to give her an idea of what he was looking for.

“Hm.  Yes, we do have a few items.  I—well, let me check on our stock.  We have only a limited book stock, but I think we recently got some texts that may touch on those particular topics.”  She disappeared into a back room.

The man who stepped out of the backroom a minute later was as unexpected as the store.  Middle aged with deep mocha skin.  White streaked his black hair and braided goatee, just on the verge of becoming the dominant color.  Like the store, he was draped in purple, an expertly tailored robe with gold highlights, a paunch rounding out his midsection.  By Caleb’s calculation, the stitch work of the robe alone quadrupled the price of the clothing.  The man posed with a raised palm at his side.  “Hello, hello!” his voice was like an explosion of honey.  “I am Gilmore, owner of this fine establishment.  Sherri tells me that you have some very specific requests.  Please, how can I help you?”

Caleb began listing off the details again, adding a few that he had thought of while Sherri was in the back.  Sherri wandered back in and began going through the ledger again.  Caleb could see her eyes glancing up to Nott’s little form wandering the aisles.

“Well,” said Gilmore, “Let’s see what we can find for you.”  He disappeared into the back room and returned a few minutes later with a pile of books and an enormous smile.  “As I thought, we have a few volumes that might interest you.”  He laid them out on the counter.  “You’re actually in luck.  We usually don’t hold on to these kinds of things.  No market, you understand.  But they were part of an estate purchase we made last week, so here they are.”

Caleb was already flipping through the books quickly, absorbing the information in a glance.  “Ah, yes, _danke_.”  His world narrowed to the books alone.

“Your accent isn’t very common around here.  Have you travelled far?”

“Hm?”  Caleb’s mind clicked into autopilot.  “Ah, yes, very far.”  He lingered on a page, tapping with his finger.  There was something here about a sorcerer who had frozen time around an island.  That might prove a promising direction.

“And what brings you to the fine city of Emon?”  Gilmore’s voice boomed as usual, but his eyes were watching Caleb with unease.  Temporal magic was highly dangerous and this man was far too eager.  Sherri, sensing something off, started moving closer, but he stopped her with a quick short shake of his head and she turned back to her work.

“Ah, just traveling.”  Caleb’s eyes were glued to the pages.  He turned to the next book and his eyes went wide.  One of the pages had the telltale signs of arcane enchantment, glowing under his detect magic spell.  He poured over the glyphs that covered the page.  He didn’t quite understand the whole thing, but the symbols he could make out excited him.  Had he found all his answers in this one shop?  He looked up at Gilmore.  “Where did these books come from?”

Gilmore gestured casually, painting the air with his hand.  “A private citizen.  His family was getting rid of his collection.”

“Was there anything other than these books?”

“A few.  Unfortunately, they met the criteria for an outstanding request from the Soltryce Academy in Wildemount.  We sent those out by ship a few days ago.”

“You deal with the Soltryce?”  Caleb’s gut tensed.

“The same as any other wealthy customer.  They have a request and it is ready money.”

Caleb let his breath out slowly and turned back to the books.  The clerk came up and deposited ink, paper, and incense next to him on the counter.

Gilmore furrowed his brow, watching the words that passed silently across his customer’s lips as he read.  Yes, this man’s focus was too intense and his interest too specific.  Perhaps some words . . . .

“I knew a man once.” Gilmore began.  Caleb didn’t acknowledge him. “He taught me something very important.  You see, I thought I was living life to the fullest.  I went after what I wanted.  Often the finest things!  I pulled myself up from a poor immigrant to a respected merchant.  And I thought that was enough.  But this man, he didn’t just live life to the fullest.  He risked his life to pursue what he thought was the most valuable.”

Gilmore took a long breath.  Sherri tried to hide her glance, burying her gaze in the ledger.

“He died.  Very young.  Long before he should have.  He died because he was willing to risk his life for what mattered.  And it made me think.  Was I risking enough?  Or was I taking a safe path?  That’s when I realized that, if I was going to honor this man’s life, then I would need to live my life in a way that would have made him proud.” Gilmore looked around his store.  “Once this store was going to be everywhere.  I was going to build a glorious empire!  But after he was gone, I had to ask myself whether that was what I valued in my heart.

“It wasn’t.  I remembered what it was like to be a young man trying to make my way in a strange land.  I remembered the children who lived in the slums right alongside me.  I knew then.  I needed to make the lives of people like that better. The people who had traveled to make a better lives for themselves.  Those who wanted something as much as I had.  I could help pull them up.  I’ve been doing that now for twenty years and Emon is better for it.  I am better for it.

“You see, I live for the past because the past becomes our future, but I don’t live in the past.  That’s a trap.”

Caleb closed the last book and looked up at Gilmore as if finally noticing him.  “Yes, that is very nice.  How much for these two?”

Gilmore sighed.  “That will be four hundred gold pieces, another hundred for the ink and paper, twenty for the incense, so five hundred gold.”

“Hm, that is quite steep.”  Caleb wrinkled up his brow.

Gilmore tapped his finger on one of the books.  “This one is enchanted.  Which you know because you cast detect magic right before coming in the store.  Don’t look so amazed, it has a very distinctive aura when you’re attuned to these things.”

“ _Ja_ , most people are not so perceptive.  Five hundred twenty then?”

“Five hundred twenty.”

Caleb slowly counted out the coins on the counter.  As they waited, Sherri leaned over and whispered something to Gilmore.  He shook his head.

“And please tell your companion to put the items she stole back on the shelves before you leave.  I don’t feel like dealing with the guard today.”

Caleb put the last coin on the counter.  “Five hundred twenty.”  He nodded.  “I will talk to her.  _Danke._ ”  Then he gathered up the books and supplies and walked towards the door.

Gilmore and Sherri watched the two travelers leave, Nott placing a few items on the floor as they left.  Gilmore took a deep breath and patted Sherri on the shoulder.  “You win some, you lose some.”

Sherri gave him a thin-lipped smile and turned back to the ledger.  “Perhaps.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am also [bboiseux on tumblr](https://bboiseux.tumblr.com/).
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End file.
